One of the hardest parts of being an expat is the fact that I am so far away, at least geographically from my family and loved ones. I am one of the lucky ones who has built a family here in Poland, but a couple of times a year I do wish I could transport myself “Star Trek” style to other places in the world.
Of course technology has helped. Services like Skype and Facebook helps us be in constant touch with friends and family with pictures, pokes and instant messaging. Still, nothing beats a real, live hug or kiss.
One of the days which are the hardest, for me at least, is Mother’s day. In Poland, we celebrate this on the 26th of May. In the UK and US, the day is celebrated on the 26th of march and 8 May respectively. I have never understood why there is no international Mother’s day where mums around the world are pampered at the same time, yet that’s the way it is.
I will make a small confession. I was not the easiest of children. My mother, listening to this will probably chuckle and think that that is likely a gross understatement. But enough about me.
I know that there are people who have a bad relationship with their mothers, and for good reason. Some people are not meant to raise children. If that is the case for you, then I am honestly sorry, because relations with one’s mother can be extremely important for children and adults alike.
And mothers play an important part in Polish social tradition. A “google image” search for Matka Polka, which translates as Polish Mother results in depictions of women in postures which bring to mind Kali, the multi-armed Hindi goddess, and performing several duties like ironing, changing nappies, washing dishes and cleaning the house - all at the same time.
Incidentally, the word mom, mutter, mama, and Poland’s matka come from the sound a baby makes while smacking its lips looking for lunch.
It might be a matter of religion as well, with Poland being a staunchly Catholic country that mothers play such an important role in society. Think of another such country: Italy, to see what stature in the family the country’s MAMMA have, being both the boss and caregiver of the family nucleus. In Poland the situation is not very different.
I discussed this in an earlier letter but Poland is also at the forefront in terms of rights for working mothers, with some of the longest maternity-leave periods in all of the European Union. The glass ceiling in both public and private companies is almost non existent. Case in point: the country’s Prime Minister Beata Szydło replaced another woman in office. To my knowledge this might have been a world first.
But anyway…
Now that I am a father and I closely observe what my wife – my children’s mother means to my children – I have grown to appreciate my own parents, my mother in particular who (and I’m sure many people feel the same way) was always there when I needed her. She was (and sometimes still is) a shoulder to cry on and a person I can have a good laugh with.
It’s a pity therefore that in some cases mothers are only remembered one day a year: on mother’s day. They should be remembered every single day of the year.
I will end this letter with a bit of a corny quote that was making the rounds on the internet in recent days:
Of all the gifts that life has to offer, a loving mother is the greatest of them all. (rg)